Davleen’s description of Naboo

As I turn the corner, I see a tall, elegant building, towering above me. Tall, towering, cocoa – coloured trees shade me from the scorching sun. The river shimmers, sounding peaceful and calm. Rough, towering, jagged, the mountains hide the fluffy white clouds. The alpine hill is integumented with bushes and trees of different shades of lush green.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Davleen’s description of Naboo

  1. Davleen,

    A good start to your setting description of Naboo although I would liked to have seen more! You have remembered to use present tense and first person and have used them accurately. Try not to repeat adjectives several times e.g. towering and if you’re using a thesaurus to improve words check that they are correct and still make sense e.g. integumented.

    You have used some lovely description and I am getting a clear picture of the aspects you have mentioned. I just wish you’d written more so I could hear more about it!

  2. I really love your description of Naboo – you have used some fantastic words which bring the place alive! I wonder if you could include some other senses in your description – how it sounds, feels, even smells! – to improve it even further?
    PS I’m going to have to look “integumented” up…

  3. I am able to really picture the setting you are describing from your choice of descriptive vocabulary. It’s a real attack on my senses! Great writing overall.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s