Leire’s Darth Vader character study

A once good super villain with the name of Darth Vader, he’s a cruel enemy who was created to destroy everyone in his path.

He wears an armour like suit with a cape that reaches his ankles. Darth Vader wears extremely heavy boots and leaves a trail of stomps as he moves away. He can kill anyone who disagrees with him using his scarlet red, blinding lightsabre.

He’s got a deep breathing-like voice since he’s wearing a dark helmet- like mask.

Personally I think you shouldn’t EVER disagree with him.

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9 thoughts on “Leire’s Darth Vader character study

  1. Leire,

    I can see you have thought about an opening, introducing your character but still being imaginative to make it an interesting opener rather than just ‘Darth Vader is…’. You have described his clothing and I love the image of leaving a trail of stomps which emphasises the echoing nature of when Darth Vader walks down the halls.

    Try to change some of your sentence openers as a lot of them are ‘He’ or ‘Darth Vader’ e.g. pronouns. You can do this just by changing the order of your sentences, e.g. instead of:

    ‘He wears an armour like suit with a cape that reaches his ankles.’

    You could have:

    ‘Wearing a cape that reaches his ankles, his armour-like suit protects him from any enemy rebels.’

  2. I like the way you started the introduction by saying who Darth Vader is. Maybe you can say a bit more about Darth Vader in the introduction. It was really good!

  3. I really liked the way you explained that Darth Vader’s light sabre is blinding. You could have put more in the last 2 paragraphs.
    Other than that, I loved it.

  4. Great writing Leire! I have a vivid picture of what Darth Vader looks like and sounds like in my mind. I wonder why he is so mean? From Mr Scurr at Thorrington School in Christchurch, NZ

  5. Good language on every sentence. I like the 5th sentence because it makes me not to mess with him.
    I think the first sentence went Wong.

  6. Amazing writing. I really liked how you described him especially when you said “blinding red lightsaber”.I especially liked it when you said”He got a deep breathing-like voice since he wearing “. I can’t think to change it it is brill. Well done

  7. I like how your last sentence is your opinion because it tells the reader more about you and your feeling towards Darth Vader. It looks like your first sentence got muddled up, so you could improve by making your sentence make sense.

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