Darth Sidious
At 900 years of age, Darth Sidious is still robust enough to fight his biggest enemies. Darth Sidious is a serious looking man who is short tempered. His acrobatic skills help him in fights because when someone is about to hit him he backflips out of position and then tries to hit his opponent. Blue lightning shoots out his hands and kills you if your not careful!! His orangy-yellow eyes act like a glowstick and are the colour of pumpkins. Having the power to blind, Darth’s blue lightsabre makes so much noise you could hear it from outer space. Sidious’ black teeth make him look less wealthy than he is. Not thankful for everything, Darth fights for more.
by Michael
CHPS Years 5 & 6 
I really enjoyed reading your description. I am especially impressed with the vocabulary you have used. What a great piece of writing!
I enjoy your colorful use of language. It brings your writing and descriptions to life. I would not like having Darth Sidious angry with me.
Hi Michael,
I thought your description of Darth Sidious was well written with some really interesting vocabulary. I certainly wouldn’t want to test his short temper! What other words could you have used to describe his enemies other than biggest?
Miss Williams, Teaching Assistant
Class 11, Hopwood C P School
I love the way you use different words like acrobatic skills. The way I think you could improve is by only using one exclamation mark and maybe make a new paragraph to create a dramatic effect.
Shannon I think that was a mistake.
Shannon I think that was a mistake
Michael
To, Miss Williams I could use most feared rather than biggest.